Route 29 Voicemail

[shippingmath]

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[Text]

[hoperaider]

[Does Jake care that Dirk might be like. Inches away or whatever wherever they are? Fuck no.

It's trolling time.]

Kookaburra sits on an old gum tree
Merry merry king of the bush is he
Stop kookaburra
Stop kookaburra
What a sight to see

[Text]

[shippingmath]

Fuck you, and also fuck you.
You are a reprehensible person and should be ashamed of yourself.

And, therefore;
pon pon wei wei wei pon pon wei pon wei pon pon
wei wei pon pon pon wei wei pon wei pon wei wei

[Text]

[hoperaider]

Never!!!

Oh my god you did *not* just use *THAT*.
To you i say:
A ram sam sam a ram sam sam
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam
A ram sam sam a ram sam sam
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam
A ra-vi a ra-vi
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam
A ra-vi a ra-vi
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam

text; jan 13th

[healium]

I've got a bit of a classic surprise for you, Dirk!
Just for old memories sake,
hoohoo!
Check your PC :B

[Dirk. Dirk.
That is a male, level 15 Zubat sitting there, with the name of "Repel".
Do you remember the joys of cave crawling, Dirk?]

[shippingmath]

[He remembers them very well. Jane has learned well, and is beginning to climb the echeladder of irony. He is so proud.]

Just for memories' sake, huh?
Not bad.
A hearty and sincere round of applause for Ms. Crocker.

[healium]

It was that or making a Slowpoke joke
by sending a Slowpoke.
This one felt more
appropriate.

[Text] Some time on 2/14

[matini]

dirrrrrrkyyyyyyy
r u bisy?

[Yep. She's drunk. She knows it. And Mom is therefore going to be extremely lazy with her texting.]

[Text]

[shippingmath]

Amazingly, all signs point to no.
For once, I do not have a multitude of irons in the fire to be tending.
What's up?

[Text]

[matini]

im surprised
i thought youd be on a hot date today
nm just passing the day waya in as much of a blur as pssible
hate valentines blech

text; 2/18

[timelymaid]

[ guess who just wired your account 13,650 ]

hey dirk!
sent you your cut of the con money :)

text; 2/18

[shippingmath]

Hell yes.
Do you need the money from the Scyther?

text; 2/18

[timelymaid]

nope were golden :)

Voice; February 24th

[when_turks_fly]

[ As it's been a while since she's talked to Dirk, Valeria is opting for voice over text. It's a bit more personal in her opinion and it makes all the difference. To her, anyway. ]

Hey, Dirk. This is Valeria. We haven't spoken in a while, so I figured I'd drop you a line and see what's going on on your end. I trust you're well? Get back to me when you've got a moment. I should be aro --

[ That sure is the sound of a crash. ] -- around. I'll talk to you soon!

[shippingmath]

[It doesn't take long for this to get a response, it happens a few minutes after Valeria's is sent. Dirk even opts for voice to return the message.]

Yo. Guess you'll have to get back to me when you have a moment, on this one.

Not bad. Got my second badge, a couple eggs from the con, getting a team ready to go up against the gym here in Goldenrod. Anything in particular bring this up?

[when_turks_fly]

[ It's around five minutes later that Valeria gets back to him and she's rather pleased that he opted for voice over text. It's good to actually hear his voice. Tells her a little more than text, in a way. ]

Sorry about that. I've got a few young additions on this end and Cas isn't exactly helping.

[ A semi-innocent piiiiii can be heard rather close. Sounds like someone's perching either on a shoulder or on top of his trainer's head. ]

If that's 'not bad,' I have to wonder how 'good' is for you. I'm glad to hear it, though, and... well, no, nothing in particular really brought this up. It's just been a while is all.

Text; March 5th, afternoon

[plushaeusrumpified]

Alright so it's been long enough for the two of us to cool down and think about our actions.
Mainly, it's been long enough for ME to think about MY actions, and you know what? I realized that I was areal fuckin' shit to you.
So I think it's time we settled this and either start over, or at least declare a truce. Not really sure which'd be easier at this point, but something's gotta give.
So I'm gonna take the opportunity to say that I'm sorry for the stuff I've done and for being a gigantic asswaffle.
I never should've questioned your sexuality or meddled in your shit like I did.
Munchlax or not, that wasn't cool.
I'm hoping that we can start over or something because I'm getting real sick of this retarded little game we have going.
Ain't no reason we can't get along.
But it's up to you, ball's in your court. Either way, I'm sorry.

[And to prove his seriousness, he's even using proper grammar and shit for once in his life. Man, this took a whole lot of swallowing his pride and actually examining his actions to see just where he went wrong and why. Apologies are hard, but this one was deserved.]

[shippingmath]

[Things Dirk did not expect: this.

Maybe he should have, he realizes, his third time reading it through. Things did start out as his fault, all the way back at the Christmas party. He'd done shit because Bro had been meddling where he wasn't wanted, because he'd been interfering with Dirk's plans.

Except he never did that. And shit only started going down after Dirk started it.

Fuck, he's been a bastard, hasn't he. Bro isn't AR. He should know better.]

Apology accepted.
I misread your motives, and was therefore a real shit myself.
Particularly with the Munchlax. That was a dumbass move on my part.
I assumed that you had your own goals whenever you meddled, and that your goals had to do with negating mine.
Which has been proven wrong, at this point.
I can't say if we'll get along, but I'm fine with calling this competition of shittiness off.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Motives are real fucking easy to misread when you're you and I'm me.
I ain't gonna say we're the same person anymore, since I know that chafes you.
But the way I see it, we're similar enough to make the same mistakes.
Either way, yeah.
Maybe we will, maybe we won't.
Worst comes to worst, we just live and let live.
I hope your shit works out for you, man.

[Text] March 6th, early afternoon

[hoperaider]

Hey dirk!
Do you have a minute of free time to spare for me?
Id like to talk to you if uh.
If thats cool.
And. Stuff.
Um.
Actually.
Can we meet up somewhere?
Uhhhhh...
Oh! The top of the department store would be good!
I mean im already there and all and uh.
Well.
I mean this is saying youve got a free moment to spare in the first place and if not then i can totally make arrangements for later to talk and all!

[No, he's not nervous at all.]

[Text/Action]

[shippingmath]

[No, not nervous at all. Not suspicious, either. And it's certainly not making Dirk himself the slightest bit nervous.]

Sure, I can spare the time.
I've got no important shit to do at the moment.
Be there in a few.

[It's not a lie, but he would probably even leave work for this. True to his word, it doesn't take him long to get to the department store and come up to the roof, hands in his pockets as he feigns nonchalance.]

Jake?

Text; March 8th

[moveslikestrider]

calling to give you an update we have met up with jane
going to stay in town overnight because theres a bad storm on the way then head out when we wake up
if its passed by then
obviously it might not so whereever skies are clear
and apparently its crockeregbert tradition to greet each other with pranks and fake mustaches
what a weird family
[Dave. You were raised by a puppet porn artist, you really don't have room to talk.]

Text; March 9th

[moveslikestrider]

we are in the air and heading out
couple days before were back in pewter
if a storm doesnt bum rush or charge at us
which sounds a little wrong
ok i got to focus on steering snoop or smack into a mountain
what a way to go
he was dumb and texting so he hit that rock and ah that wasnt going anywhere
see ya bro

Text; March 11th

[moveslikestrider]

so radio silence for two days had an answer
mostly busy as hell and making plans and shit
usual stuff
topped with all my eggs hatching at once
it was like this wave of oh hey its time to complicate your life
dragons bite fyi like a lot
then we got back to town and the rest of the little bastards piped up
daves home this means crowd around and cling to his legs
maybe i spoil them a bit too much or something
were in pewter again and im going to go pass the hell out

[Action because fuck logs atm?] whenever they're in Cianwood

[hoperaider]

[Jake is just. Staring. At Dirk. And being very obvious about it. He's so obvious about it that even he knows he's being obvious about it.

Seriously, though, he can't help it. He's having an epiphany, if the growing look of amusement and mock dismay on his face is anything to go by.]

[shippingmath]

[It doesn't take long for Dirk to realize that he's being stared at, because it's so rare that Jake sits still for so long. For a while he just watches back behind his shades, but he eventually turns to face Jake and give him a look back.]

What the hell is that face for?