shippingmath | Route 29 Voicemail

[There is a small, very girly scream that comes out of that kid's mouth before managing to catch the 'dex. Have a pillow, Dirk.]

You, since you threw the first punch!

Who's the one who started singing loud enough for the whole city to hear? I'd say that counts as losing it.

[That scream is totally worth it. He'll catch the pillow and throw it right back. Of course he's going to aim for the face, he's just unschooled in proper pillow fight etiquette like that.]

You're the one who lost it, Dirk. I didn't start an impromptu fight just because of a song! Obviously, it just annoyed you to that degree!!

[It still smacks him in the face, but it was totally caught. That Pokedex is going in his pocket, fuck you, Dirk. Have two pillows and a blanket!!!]

[Okay, yeah, there's no way he's catching all of those. He tries to ward off the second pillow with the first, but the blanket isn't avoidable. At least it doesn't cover his head.]

Says the one who keeps escalating.

[Now he'll just throw all this stuff to the side and come after Jake with the one pillow.]

[Damn. Jake would've paid serious money to have seen Dirk with blanket hair.]

You still threw the first punch and with something hard, I might add!

[Diving to grab that pillow so that he can defend himself!]

[Jake will get his chance. Dirk has to sleep sometime.

Dirk doesn't answer the question immediately. Not because he's stalling. More because this has now escalated into a full pillow fight and that means Jake needs to be prevented from getting a weapon of his own.]

Fine. Next time I'll throw Tweety Bird at you instead.

[He'll snap a photo and post it on the network. No fucks given.

Taking that discarded pillow, bro.]

I don't think he'd like that very much.

[Then they'll just have to face off, pillow in hand, shoot-out style.]

Alas. Poor him. Poor you.

[Instead of saying anything, Jake rushes to Dirk, ready to assault him with this pillow.]

[This means war, of course. Jake's lucky that Dirk isn't really able to flashstep the way he could back in their world, because he's going to be doing his best to dodge every hit.]

[omg Dirk stand still so he can hit you]

[Nope. If he stood still, he'd get hit.]

[dirk don't be rude he just wants to give him a little smack on the face

lovingly

But, no, Jake's being a klutz has finally caught up with him and he eventually trips over his own feet. Flailing all the way down onto his face.]

[Timberrrrrrr

Only Jake's kind of falling at him. Abortabortabort-

Yeah, no, too late. As soon as he can, he'll be whacking Jake with his pillow to try and get him off.]

I needed those ribs, you ass.

Oh, yes, I just so happened to aim where I fell.

[Jake? Get off? There ain't no way a pillow is going to deter him from an accidental win!

Prepare to be pinned, Dirk.]

By the by, I think this means I win.

I am not surprised in the least.

[Dirk just gives him an unimpressed look.]

I don't remember giving up the win to you.

[He gives Dirk a very calculating look. And then...experimentally tickles one side of his friend. Just to see if he's even ticklish.]

[The problem with being extremely ticklish is that reacting to it is involuntary. In other words, Dirk flinches away from Jake's hand the moment it touches him.]

Fuck-

[He's positively gleeful at this realization and tickles Dirk with wild abandon.

JAKE used TICKLE! It's super effective!]

[And Dirk is practically writhing, trying to get away.]

Jake- Jake, no I swear to god, stop- I will fucking end you-

[Jake is laughing himself, but mostly because Dirk laughs are contagious motherfuckers.]

Do I win? Do I?

Oh god fuck you!

[He tries to hold out, but he's laughing again within the moment, trying to protect his sides and push Jake's hands away at the same time.]

Okay, okay, you win, now stop it-

[Jake grins and he stops, getting off of Dirk while he does.]

English: 1, Strider: 0. I didn't realize you were so ticklish!

[Dirk just flops on his side and catches his breath. His hair is completely messed up. He hasn't noticed it yet.]

Jesus christ. You think I did?

[And Jake's not about to tell him that it's all messy.]

No, but now we both know! [And somebody's best friend is totally going to exploit it whenever the chance arises.]

You should laugh and smile a little more.

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