shippingmath | Route 29 Voicemail

[omg Dirk stand still so he can hit you]

[Nope. If he stood still, he'd get hit.]

[dirk don't be rude he just wants to give him a little smack on the face

lovingly

But, no, Jake's being a klutz has finally caught up with him and he eventually trips over his own feet. Flailing all the way down onto his face.]

[Timberrrrrrr

Only Jake's kind of falling at him. Abortabortabort-

Yeah, no, too late. As soon as he can, he'll be whacking Jake with his pillow to try and get him off.]

I needed those ribs, you ass.

Oh, yes, I just so happened to aim where I fell.

[Jake? Get off? There ain't no way a pillow is going to deter him from an accidental win!

Prepare to be pinned, Dirk.]

By the by, I think this means I win.

I am not surprised in the least.

[Dirk just gives him an unimpressed look.]

I don't remember giving up the win to you.

[He gives Dirk a very calculating look. And then...experimentally tickles one side of his friend. Just to see if he's even ticklish.]

[The problem with being extremely ticklish is that reacting to it is involuntary. In other words, Dirk flinches away from Jake's hand the moment it touches him.]

Fuck-

[He's positively gleeful at this realization and tickles Dirk with wild abandon.

JAKE used TICKLE! It's super effective!]

[And Dirk is practically writhing, trying to get away.]

Jake- Jake, no I swear to god, stop- I will fucking end you-

[Jake is laughing himself, but mostly because Dirk laughs are contagious motherfuckers.]

Do I win? Do I?

Oh god fuck you!

[He tries to hold out, but he's laughing again within the moment, trying to protect his sides and push Jake's hands away at the same time.]

Okay, okay, you win, now stop it-

[Jake grins and he stops, getting off of Dirk while he does.]

English: 1, Strider: 0. I didn't realize you were so ticklish!

[Dirk just flops on his side and catches his breath. His hair is completely messed up. He hasn't noticed it yet.]

Jesus christ. You think I did?

[And Jake's not about to tell him that it's all messy.]

No, but now we both know! [And somebody's best friend is totally going to exploit it whenever the chance arises.]

You should laugh and smile a little more.

And I wish we didn't.

[He's going to stand across the room from Jake for the rest of forever.]

[But now it's time to get off the floor. He picks up one of the abandoned pillows and tosses it at Jake.]

I will never want to laugh that much again. God, my fucking sides hurt.

[But he's still kind of smiling.]

[Flailing as it hits his face. He tosses it away.]

That's because you're out of shape for laughing.

As if I need to be in shape for it. It wouldn't even be a problem if you weren't trying to tickle me to death.

If it gets you to laugh and smile, then it's worth it.

[Okay, he can't contain it.]

Dirk, I'm sorry to say it, truly I am, but...your hair...it's kind of messed up.

What?

[And he reaches up to check before he can even think to stop himself.]

Fuck. [Time to drop everything and fix it.]

[Jake can't help grinning. Oh, his poor friend.]

Dirk, it looks just fine!

[His perfect anime hair is a big deal, okay.]

It's messed up, that means it's not fine.

You're only making it worse, you know. Would you let me fix it for you?

[He's not about to let someone touch his hair, except without a mirror, he's really not getting anywhere with it, so...]

Fine. I guess you can't do any worse.

[He gives Dirk a mock huff.]

Really, you're acting as if you're attending the funeral of your hair.

[Jake moves so that he's in front of his friend and starts fixing it up. If anything, he's doing a fairly decent job until Dirk can get a mirror and be all "professional" on it.]

Route 29 Voicemail

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