shippingmath | Route 29 Voicemail

[This means war, of course. Jake's lucky that Dirk isn't really able to flashstep the way he could back in their world, because he's going to be doing his best to dodge every hit.]

[omg Dirk stand still so he can hit you]

[Nope. If he stood still, he'd get hit.]

[dirk don't be rude he just wants to give him a little smack on the face

lovingly

But, no, Jake's being a klutz has finally caught up with him and he eventually trips over his own feet. Flailing all the way down onto his face.]

[Timberrrrrrr

Only Jake's kind of falling at him. Abortabortabort-

Yeah, no, too late. As soon as he can, he'll be whacking Jake with his pillow to try and get him off.]

I needed those ribs, you ass.

Oh, yes, I just so happened to aim where I fell.

[Jake? Get off? There ain't no way a pillow is going to deter him from an accidental win!

Prepare to be pinned, Dirk.]

By the by, I think this means I win.

I am not surprised in the least.

[Dirk just gives him an unimpressed look.]

I don't remember giving up the win to you.

[He gives Dirk a very calculating look. And then...experimentally tickles one side of his friend. Just to see if he's even ticklish.]

[The problem with being extremely ticklish is that reacting to it is involuntary. In other words, Dirk flinches away from Jake's hand the moment it touches him.]

Fuck-

[He's positively gleeful at this realization and tickles Dirk with wild abandon.

JAKE used TICKLE! It's super effective!]

[And Dirk is practically writhing, trying to get away.]

Jake- Jake, no I swear to god, stop- I will fucking end you-

[Jake is laughing himself, but mostly because Dirk laughs are contagious motherfuckers.]

Do I win? Do I?

Oh god fuck you!

[He tries to hold out, but he's laughing again within the moment, trying to protect his sides and push Jake's hands away at the same time.]

Okay, okay, you win, now stop it-

[Jake grins and he stops, getting off of Dirk while he does.]

English: 1, Strider: 0. I didn't realize you were so ticklish!

[Dirk just flops on his side and catches his breath. His hair is completely messed up. He hasn't noticed it yet.]

Jesus christ. You think I did?

[And Jake's not about to tell him that it's all messy.]

No, but now we both know! [And somebody's best friend is totally going to exploit it whenever the chance arises.]

You should laugh and smile a little more.

And I wish we didn't.

[He's going to stand across the room from Jake for the rest of forever.]

[But now it's time to get off the floor. He picks up one of the abandoned pillows and tosses it at Jake.]

I will never want to laugh that much again. God, my fucking sides hurt.

[But he's still kind of smiling.]

[Flailing as it hits his face. He tosses it away.]

That's because you're out of shape for laughing.

As if I need to be in shape for it. It wouldn't even be a problem if you weren't trying to tickle me to death.

If it gets you to laugh and smile, then it's worth it.

[Okay, he can't contain it.]

Dirk, I'm sorry to say it, truly I am, but...your hair...it's kind of messed up.

What?

[And he reaches up to check before he can even think to stop himself.]

Fuck. [Time to drop everything and fix it.]

[Jake can't help grinning. Oh, his poor friend.]

Dirk, it looks just fine!

[His perfect anime hair is a big deal, okay.]

It's messed up, that means it's not fine.

You're only making it worse, you know. Would you let me fix it for you?

[He's not about to let someone touch his hair, except without a mirror, he's really not getting anywhere with it, so...]

Fine. I guess you can't do any worse.

Route 29 Voicemail

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