IC Voicemail Vatheon

[shippingmath]

This is Dirk Strider's SFC. It seems I'm not available right now, so leave a message. I'll get back to you. In the meantime, try to contain your disappointment over my absence.

Comments

te%t; filtered

[stayb100ponyboy]

D --> Hello, Dirk
D --> I have a question for you

D --> I was wondering if you'd be interested in working on a project together

[TEXT]

[bethehugejerk]

HEY ASSWIPE.
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT A CERTAIN PRESUMPTUOUS TOOL HAS GOTTEN IT INTO HIS HEAD THAT CALLING A TAKEN TROLL "SUGARLIPS" WAS A GOOD IDEA
AND HAS FURTHERMORE PESTERED THAT TROLL FOR PICTURES TO MATCH, THEREBY PROVING HE HAS NO SENSE OF SHAME, DIGNITY, OR NOT BEING A POOL OF SLOPPY FECAL DISCHARGE.
BACK THE FUCK OFF BECAUSE AS SAID, HE'S TAKEN
AND YES, THAT MEANS IN BOTH CONCUPISCENT QUADRANTS, WHICH I IMAGINE YOU HAVE SOME IDEA OF THE MEANING IF THE CONDESCE TOOK OVER YOUR BACKWATER EARTH COPY.
THE ONLY QUADRANT HE HAS OPEN HAS NONE OF THAT INVOLVED
AND FOR ALL I'M OPPOSED TO GRATUITOUS SHIT KICKING I AM NOT ABOVE PUNCHING THE POINTY DOUCHEBAG SHADES OFF YOUR FACE IF YOU TRY TO STEAL HIM OUT OF HIS MATESPRITSHIP.

[Voice]

[closedcircuit]

Dirk? I think I've been given your sunglasses.

[Pardon Ky if he sounds a little confused about this.]

[Text]

[prissykid]

Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.

-Tom Clancy

[Voice] April 3rd

[dashingloyalty]

Hey, Dirk! Hope you're not too mad over my choice in hair dye. I mean, uh, you probably know by now that it's fading to...well. Grey. Right?

[Mayyyybe she should've thought the color choice over more carefully. Welp.]

I mean, at least it's not fading to some really awful shade of green?

[symmetrophile]

[It should really come as no surprise that Dirk has a stalker.

Neither should it be a surprise that the aforementioned stalker is a certain grim reaper who is as persistent as he is neurotic; having recovered enough from his foolhardy attempt at not-so-selfless heroism to be able to stroll around without needing too many breaks, he has eventually ended up here.

That's right, the same island-side residence that houses a troll woman Kid doesn't know, as well as his secret agent buddy acquaintance Roxy. Whether they were within or not, he couldn't really say.

But, having grown impatient with waiting for Dirk to show up (or perhaps assuming the Prince of Heart was already inside), he did exactly what every stalker shouldn't do to be successful.

He announced himself.

It meant he did some very firm banging on the door with his fist.]

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Davesprite has come to a conclusion that leaves a bad taste in his mouth. This bad taste is disappointment.

Dirk is a teen version of Bro.

Davesprite has not yet actually trolled this guy in true Strider fashion. He might not consider himself a Strider, but he still has standards to maintain.

This is where it leads to.]

dirk
i have a confession to make
this stays between the 2 of us
if it leaves your voicemail i stg i will claw your eyes out and feed them to you

[stayb100ponyboy]

D --> Dirk
D --> Let's talk about horses