[Text] First Rap

[shippingmath]

Excuse me for stating the incredibly obvious, but looks like I'm not in metaphorical Kansas any more.
I knew our session was going to fuck already, but I didn't think it would screw up to the point of sending me to the wrong game.
Once again, existence has decided to prove to me that things can go wrong beyond my wildest expectations. It gets a gold star.
Not that I can't appreciate the irony of Pokemon, of all things.
It's simply negated when my sword is taken away and replaced with a 'mon with knives for hands.
Not to mention the gift backpack and the terrible music.
I hope there's something else worth listening to.

In the meantime.
Roxy, Jake, Jane.
I expect to get contact from you as soon as you see this.
Not to insult your intelligence, but your track record for survival in new places is utter shit.

Excuse me for stating the incredibly obvious, but look's like I'm not in metaphorical Kansas any more.
I knew our session was going to fuck already, but I didn't think it would screw up to the point of sending me to the wrong game.
Once again, existence has decided to prove to me that things can go wrong beyond my wildest expectations. It gets a gold star.
Not that I can't appreciate the irony of Pokemon, of all things.
It's simply negated when my sword is taken away and replaced with a 'mon with knives for hands.
Not to mention the gift backpack and the terrible music.
I hope there's something else worth listening to.

In the meantime.
Roxy, Jake, Jane.
I expect to get contact from you as soon as you see this.
Not to insult your intelligence, but your track record for survival in new places is utter shit.

Comments

[shippingmath]

What kind of a lift are we talking about here, Crocker?
I'll be expecting a stylish ride. And a heat source.
That's gentlemanly of him.

[healium]

The heat source will be taken care of through blankets and proper jackets.
The lift, however, is on loan from my Poppop!
His name is John Egbert though.

Here's a picture of the ride in question.
I think you will be most entertained! :B!

[shippingmath]

Looks awesome as shit.
What is it and where can I get one, Jane.

[healium]

His name is Giant, and he is a Golurk.
This species is a ghost and ground type, and can learn the move "fly".
Seeing as the Pokedex says they are over 700lbs, that is incredible!

I believe if you ask John, he would be happy to breed one for you!

[shippingmath]

We'll see.
But yeah, color me impressed.
Sounds like a bitching ride.
Even better than the pumpkin carriage I was expecting.

[healium]

If your heart is set on a pumpkin showing up,
my Ditto can turn into one just for you.

[shippingmath]

My hero.

[healium]

Hoo hoo!
Here you go Dirk!

[Sup, this is now turning into a video feed where the purple blob at Jane's feet is doing a very nice impression of a pumpkin, complete with Ponyta drawn carriage. It's small, only the size of a basketball, but it'll do. Right?]

[shippingmath]

[Dirk'll just go along with that switch to video on his end, too.]

Perfect. You are a goodess, Jane. A fairy godmother. Only you can get the perfect dress and bring me to the ball.

[healium]

The dress will come once you're here, I have to take measurements and all first.

[shippingmath]

What, you can't just wave your magic wand and cover me in sparkles? I thought you were a proper fairy godmother.

[healium]

Unfortunately, I'm told this place removes all super powers and magic, so my wand isn't in working order! You will have to deal with getting pinned as I get used to the proper way to sew again.

[shippingmath]

No, not the pins. Anything but the pins.

[healium]

I'll use safety pins, just for you.