[Text] First Rap

[shippingmath]

Excuse me for stating the incredibly obvious, but looks like I'm not in metaphorical Kansas any more.
I knew our session was going to fuck already, but I didn't think it would screw up to the point of sending me to the wrong game.
Once again, existence has decided to prove to me that things can go wrong beyond my wildest expectations. It gets a gold star.
Not that I can't appreciate the irony of Pokemon, of all things.
It's simply negated when my sword is taken away and replaced with a 'mon with knives for hands.
Not to mention the gift backpack and the terrible music.
I hope there's something else worth listening to.

In the meantime.
Roxy, Jake, Jane.
I expect to get contact from you as soon as you see this.
Not to insult your intelligence, but your track record for survival in new places is utter shit.

Excuse me for stating the incredibly obvious, but look's like I'm not in metaphorical Kansas any more.
I knew our session was going to fuck already, but I didn't think it would screw up to the point of sending me to the wrong game.
Once again, existence has decided to prove to me that things can go wrong beyond my wildest expectations. It gets a gold star.
Not that I can't appreciate the irony of Pokemon, of all things.
It's simply negated when my sword is taken away and replaced with a 'mon with knives for hands.
Not to mention the gift backpack and the terrible music.
I hope there's something else worth listening to.

In the meantime.
Roxy, Jake, Jane.
I expect to get contact from you as soon as you see this.
Not to insult your intelligence, but your track record for survival in new places is utter shit.

Comments

[hold up i got some numbers here 1/???] now let me touch this first-

[healium]

[Well now. How the hell was she right in thinking Dirk wasn't too far behind?]

text; 2/3 ; YESSSS dibs 8D

[healium]

I think you need to be proud of me at this very moment.
I somehow knew you weren't going to be very far behind! :B

[Text]

[moveslikestrider]

sorry bro that music will stay on but take heart
it changes as you switch places
guessing your at new bark town right now
y or n
this is important shit you should respond a s a p
on the dot
to the spot
ok that one is not going to be a stellar winner

1/???

[hoperaider]

[doot doot checking the network wow he's actually being regular about this stuff.]

gonna tell you when this ends

[hoperaider]

[Oh, hey, that's some familiar oran--]

Having flashbacks to Jane's intro already

[hoperaider]

[WAIT. WAIT HE KNOWS THAT INFURIATINGLY ORANGE TEXT WITH ITS INFURIATING LANGUAGE THAT HE UNDERSTANDS ABOUT HALF THE TIME AND ONLY A QUARTER OF THE TIME UNDERSTANDS CORRECTLY.]

DONE

[healium]

I will say you are ironically late.
Roxy disappeared not long ago,
just in time for you to arrive.

It doesn't matter anymore though, I'm just glad you finally made it!
To start, no, we aren't in any sort of place on Earth.
We aren't in the game either, to my understanding.
I was still just getting outdoors to get my discs,
and Jake said the last he remembers is being knocked out.
I have been absolutely wanting to talk to you about all of this,
though I don't even know if you'll be able to spell it out for me either.

omg Jake STOP

[hoperaider]

[omg feeling positively giddy that one of their friends came back!

Okay, so it was Roxy that left, but still. Been feeling that need for the whole group being together, man.]

[Text] OKAY DONE

[hoperaider]

Dirk!
Good grief man you certainly kept us waiting long enough!
Had to take as long as possible before making an entrance did you?
Okay its been a tad bit longer for me than say jane but still.

[shippingmath]

Pause and rewind, Crocker.
Item number 1. I'm late.
Item number 2. Roxy isn't here. Any more.
Item number fuck lists. I believe I'm hearing that you're from the past? "Being knocked out" is not goddamn specific enough with Jake.

[healium]

1) Yes.
2) No. Jake arrived a month before her, then I arrived a week after her, then she disappeared back on Monday.

Your past then, so it's rightfully called Time Shenanigans.
Being knocked out after um, seeing me die.
He said something about red stuff?

[Text]

[shippingmath]

Whether it changes isn't the question, so much as whether it improves.
And that would be a yes.
You got any reason for asking, "bro"?

[shippingmath]

My sincerest apologies for my lack of control over my own temporal displacement.
I'll do better next time, Bro.

[Video]

[moveslikestrider]

[Dave hesitates then flips on video. He's taking his coat off a peg and pulling it on.]

I can name them but, why do that when a picture is worth a thousand words? The music doesn't improve, fyi.

[shippingmath]

Ah.
The Red Miles.
No need to worry about it, it's been dealt with.
The game has a revival mechanism.
We're all entering now, if my original message didn't make that clear.

[healium]

Kissing who ever has died, right?
One of the other sessions players explained a little to me!
Her name is Aradia, and she's traveling with Jake and I.
Yes, I suppose on rereading, it is clear as a crystal.

[She's still under the brief impression that Jake kissed her to revive her. Sorry, Dirky.]

[hoperaider]

See to it!
Waiting for you to get your rear into gear for three months gets rather tiresome after a while ill have you know!
But to be serious for a moment welcome to johto.
I suspect that dave is about ready to come get you.
Sadly id join the party but ive got nothing to cart me back to new bark town in a reasonable amount of time.
Speaking of which!
Youre just in time for christmas so this should be exciting!

[god, he's just all over the place in excitement at Dirk finally being here]

[usedshooshpap]

THAT'S IT.
I'M FUCKING DONE.
JUST
DONE.

Text;

[tentacletrainer]

Ah, you must be the young Strider.
Who knew we would collect you so quickly after your friends arrived.
Welcome to Johto, land of Pokemon and Fun.
Except when it's not so fun, which is more often than you'd imagine.
My name is Rose and I will not exactly be your guide but would be perfectly willing to answer any questions you may or may not have.
It's a pleasure to meet you.

[roemance]

holy fuck just howw many a you striders are there
seriously im beginnin to lose count here
you should be labelled a damn pandemic pest species or somethin

[timelymaid]

if you are asking for those three
you must be dirk strider!
i have heard a lot about you from my companions
who are jake and jane to clarify

[Video]

[shippingmath]

[At the moment, Dirk's had a pretty long day. He's had to fight drones and escape the Red Miles, he's had his friends die and he's died himself to save them. He's shown up in another universe.

He's just a bit run down, which is why he just... stares at first. That face is a face he's spent years of his life searching for footage on, one he's learned every possible fact about, every single public moment of his life that he could. That face is one he saw for maybe thirty seconds in a dream, when everything was busy going to shit.

It takes a moment, but he switches to video, himself. Enjoy your look at Dirk in his Derse clothes, Dave.]

In that case. Ironic use of Bro rescinded in favor of an indication of genetic similarity. I'll take your word about the music.

[shippingmath]

[At this point he has technically kissed or been kissed by all of his friends. He is probably not going to comment on it, so her impression is safe! For now.]

I won't blame you for just breezing over it in favor of getting a direct response from my choice self, don't worry about it, Crocker.
So, now that we've established how very not dead you are, mind telling me how much walking I'm going to have to do in order to catch up?
Since I assume the two of you haven't decided to start living with "mom" here.

[shippingmath]

Yeah, he got on his way as soon as he saw this.
It's gonna be a Strider party up in here.

[And Dirk's still in the tiniest bit of awe over that. That sure is his teenage bro coming to pick him up. What is he even going to do about that?]

I'm simply thrilled. Christmas won't be ruined after all.
Too bad you can't see all these tears of joy I'm crying here, shit's downright touching.

[shippingmath]

I'm going to assume from the lack of lowercase u and the text color that you're not uu.
That being the case, I can't say I particularly understand your reaction there.
Should I be impressed with my own ability to piss off a person I don't know?